


Irma's Pinch

by fandomgalore



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Unrequited Love, sexual awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:32:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29713071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomgalore/pseuds/fandomgalore
Summary: Irma Pince starts working at Hogwarts and has some surprising feelings over a certain caretaker.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	Irma's Pinch

**Author's Note:**

> I am back with another story written for the Harry Potter Fanfiction Club discord's server writing challenge. This time we showed some love to forgotten characters. Hope you all enjoy.
> 
> Big shout out to my friend who helped me with the.... *cough* three kobolds in a trench coat pretending to be the *cough* English language.

As a young child, Irma Pince was always alone, more interested in books than in socialising with her peers in primary school. Not that she had particularly cared about making lasting friendships with them. Irma’s father had insisted on sending her to a muggle primary school. As a muggle himself, he wanted her to at least be grounded in a wide range of muggle subjects and that she could survive in the muggle world if needed. Books were great for the shy Irma, who got bullied for being shy, making her retreat into books and making the bullying worse by giving them something else to taunt her with. As a result, Irma spent most of her time in libraries as a child, and this continued on through Hogwarts. In her final year at Hogwarts, the old librarian pulled her aside and asked her to consider to taking over the job of librarian. Irma thought about it, but ultimately decided to decline, wanting to see the world and its libraries.

Irma returned to England seven years later, in the winter of 1969, and quickly found a job as a sales assistant at Flourish&Blotts. It was only a few weeks after she started, when the first incident hit Irma.

“Transfiguration Today,” the man in front of the counter growled.

Irma looked up surprised and only slightly appalled by the lack of manners from the rather well-dressed man.

“Would you like this week’s….”she started, but got interrupted.

“YES!” the man shouted in her face. “Which other edition would I want? It came out today, so of course I want today’s edition!”

Irma grabbed the newest edition of _Transfiguration Today_ from below the counter with shaking hands. The man snatched the journal from her hands and dropped a galleon for it, before storming out of the shop. Irma grabbed the counter to steady herself, feeling tears prickle in her eyes.

“Mr. Rosier gets like that honey, no need to feel bad over it,” mister Ketteridge soothed her. “Why don’t you take your lunch break early?”

Irma took an extra long break where she cried her eyes out. She felt horrible, and was rethinking her decision to work in the bookshop. It seemed so perfect to her, she’d be surrounded by books and fellow booklovers. It now seemed she had grossly overestimated the tranquillity of the job.

Two weeks later novel writer James Thelyss was holding an autograph session as his new book came out. Irma was incredibly overwhelmed with all the people. She was trying to usher people into the line, but she was being pushed into the shelves over and over again. She could feel the bruises forming right there and then. Once again she was close to crying. No one was listening to her and were just shouting over her or, worse, ignoring her and pushing her out of their way. That evening she cried her eyes out once again. How could she keep doing this. She hated autograph sessions even more than rude customers, she knew that for certain now. Next time, she’d say she’s sick or something, she decided. She couldn’t do that again, there was no way she could do that again.

By May, Irma had skipped 5 autograph sessions and only cried out her eyes out once a week. It was a morning after one of those days, when she saw the ad for the position of Head Librarian for Hogwarts in the Daily Prophet. She had to try this, she just knew it. It would mean getting out of that shop where “the customer is always right”. She headed to work with a large piece of parchment in her bag and a quill and inkwell to write her application letter. Mister Ketteridge always took the day after an autograph session off, so it was perfect. She worked on the application letter every free moment, and it was a slow day, which meant there was a lot of it. She wrote and rewrote it three times, changes little things each time. As she walked home, she ran by the post office to send the letter.

The next morning she was eating breakfast as an owl tapped on her window. Headmaster Dumbledore had invited her for an interview in three days. She danced through her living room and offered the owl her uneaten breakfast. She knew she would nail that interview, she would get that position. She was going to be the best prepared candidate that Professor Dumbledore would see.

And nail it she did. Dumbledore asked her some questions and in the middle of her explanation of how she would organise the library he interrupted her to tell her the job was hers. Giddy she returned to the bookshop that afternoon, where she spent the day once again writing a letter. This time it was her resignation letter though, instead of an application letter. Mister Ketteridge looked surprised when she handed him the letter.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“My resignation letter with a two-weeks-notice. I’ve found a new job.”

“Irma, you’re my best sales assistant, I’d love for you to stay, what can I give you for you to stay?”

Irma was surprised to hear that, but her heart was set on Hogwarts’ library.

“I’m sorry, mister Ketteridge, I won’t change my mind. I have a really good feeling about this new job. I liked working here, but I want something different now,” she told him.

She grabbed her bag and left mister Ketteridge behind, smiling when she walked out the door. She could survive two more weeks. She was incredibly happy to be out now, before the summer crowds would come, and she’d even have a break before she had to arrive at Hogwarts. Yes, that smile wasn’t going to leave her face for a while.

On August 15th 1969, Irma apparated to Hogsmeade in the morning. Albus had told her, the caretaker would be waiting for her to open the gates and let her in. As she walked the path to Hogwarts, memories of her few visits to Hogsmeade ran through her head. Faster than expected, she reached the gates, where a tall, skinny man wearing a long brown trench coat, was waiting for her. He grunted in acknowledgement of her presence, but didn’t say anything as he opened the gate for her. He wasn’t very welcoming, but something in his demeanour appealed to Irma. She couldn’t put her finger on it. She’d never been attracted to men before. Neither to women for that matter, she’d never considered love to be of any import to her. Not that she needed it in her life. Books were all she needed. But this man interested her. She thought she recognised something in his eyes, that she saw in the mirror every day. A kind of loneliness born out of being shunned all your life. She studied him as he led her to her new living quarters. She didn’t learn much in his silence. He opened a door around the corner from the library.

“Here you go,” he told her and turned to walk away again.

“Wait, what’s your name,” Irma asked.

The man stopped in his tracks, clearly having been taken by surprise by the question.

“Argus Filch,” he responded and all but ran out of the corridor.

Over the course of the last days of summer, Irma spent her time getting reacquainted with Hogwarts and its library. Some of her old professors were now her colleagues, which she was struggling to adjust to. However, her mind kept going back to the man named Argus Filch. She’d seen him in the distance a few times, but both were too busy to get into a conversation. The fifth time she saw him again though, she was just heading from the library to the kitchens for a light lunch. In the summer heat, he’d taken off his long coat as he’d been mopping the floors in one of the library’s adjacent corridors. What she hadn’t seen before through his layers, was that Argus Filch was actually very fit. Irma stood in the door for minutes, just staring at Argus. The way his biceps and triceps tensed and relaxed with the movements of the mop. She was mesmerised by the movement of his arms and the mop. She had never thought how erotic such a muggle activity could be. She stiffened on that thought. Never before had she considered anyone worthy of friendship. She’d never had a single romantic or erotic thought. Her parents had never even bothered to give her _The Talk,_ figuring she’d either ask or read about it in a book. But here she was, looking at a man she’d met only a few days ago, whom she’d only exchanged a few words with! She couldn’t look away though. She started to imagine what it would feel like, running her hands over his bare arms, him flexing his biceps to impress her. Her fingers started to tingle. She could feel it from across the hallway. The softness of his skin, yet firm from his muscles, feeling them tense as he flexed. Just as she was imagining what it would feel like to have his arms around her, he looked up at her.

Irma took five steps back into the library, feeling her face heat up. What was she thinking? This is ridiculous. There was no way he would be interested in her. She’s uninteresting, boring, only interested in her books. And even if that wouldn’t deter him, she’s nothing special to look at. Irma knew all the flaws, she saw them every time she looked into a mirror. Her hair is thin and straight. There is absolutely nothing she could do with it, so she always just put it into a bun to keep it out of her face and pretended it wasn’t as bad as it was. Her eyebrows were just a perpetual mess. She tried cosmetic spells once, but it left her with no left eyebrow, so she never tried again. Her eyes stood too close together in her mind, and all the reading until deep in the night had created a perpetual frown on her face. Already there were lines in her face that she couldn’t get rid off no matter how hard she tried. Her nose was also incredibly thin, pointed and just plain big, almost like an eagle’s beak. No, Irma Pince was not pretty in her own mind and no one could change her mind on that. It was clear, in her mind, that any man could do better than her.

Irma walked further into the library and continued her reorganisation of the library to put those traitorous thoughts of Argus out of her mind. She was busy sorting the Restricted Charms section by theme and then by author, and it seemed to be the best way to keep her mind occupied. That was until she saw the section she was working on. Bedroom charms. A section only accessible for N.E.W.T. students who are of age, due to the mature charms inside. Irma had opened a book in this section once in her schoolyears, had seen what was inside and quickly closed it again. With a wave of her wand she closed the library doors and locked them. Leaving all books but one, she headed to the nearest table. Sitting down she looked down at the title: _Spicing up the bedroom; for singles, couples and groups._ Taking a deep breath, she opened the book and started reading the book.

Hours later, when the sun had long set and she had already gone through two candles, she closed the book after the last sentence. For the first time in her life she had read an entire book dedicated to sex and one’s sex life. She’d actually learned a lot. Where first she thought sex was exclusively for a male and female partner, she had learned that it wasn’t strange for people to pleasure themselves without a partner present. She had learned there were devices out there to pleasure one’s self with, although it wasn’t recommended to transfigure those devices when one had never physically seen one. Or that one could have intercourse with a partner of the same sex, or even multiple partners. That there were a lot of “kinks” out there. All this because she’d caught herself staring at one man. Argus Filch really was someone different. If she were honest with herself, she couldn’t wait to see him again, working that mop, while she wished those arms and hands were working something entirely different.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading again, and if you want to join a great community of Harry Potter lovers, who read fanfiction together, have AMAs with writers and occasionally write fanfics for challenges, join us on discord. https://discord.gg/nxjAezt8zt


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